Posted on: October 29, 2014 Posted by: vudfc Comments: 0

Terrance Freeman, “VU Sports Guy”, sent his Mizzou Basketball prospectus in this morning. I don’t have time to read it, so I’m going to post it in good faith. Hope it helps as you prepare for another exciting season of Tiger basketball. (Disclaimer: Read at your own risk. Some of Terrance’s work covering Mizzou Football has been dodgy at best.)

 

Tigers Looking For Ali Hoop Slam Dunk Season This Season Upcoming

By: Terrance Freeman (VU Sports Guy)

It was a wild offseason for Missou basketball, as all their kind-of good players (eg. Joey Clarkson and Jumanji Browns) decided to leave school for other stuff. Added to that exodus was the departure of Coach “Uncle Mike” Haith, who departed for Arkansas. Missou instantly went into full-hire mode, talking to the head coaches for both Purdue and Tulsa, before deciding it was time to really do its part for equality and hire a female coach away from the San Antonio Spurs. Kim Anderson comes to Missou ready to reshape the image of the program and take Hearnes Arena by storm.

Coach Anderson will rely primarily on the players to win games for her program. Among those players will be the ever-stalwart Ryan Rosburgh. I asked my new friend Darren if he thought Rosburgh would have a big year and Darren answered, “Rosburgh is terrible.” But I think he meant the same way people say things like, “that is sick!” when they aren’t talking about the flu or anything like it. Like I say, “Zaxby’s is so sick!” because it is my favorite restaurant (even though it gives me the skitters). So I think he meant it like that because Rosburgh is a lot like Missou’s version of Larry Bird, except worse at shooting and dribbling the basketball and at running in general.

Also key will be Deuce Elbow, who I actually don’t know anything about.

Wes Clark will handle much of the points guard duties, and I like him because he bends over really low when he dribbles and looks kind of like a turtle. “Turtle Man” is what Clark is called around my apartment.

Apparently, Missou has a bunch of freshmans too (which means this is their first year in college and they haven’t had time to play or get arrested yet). Many of these freshmans will finally get their chance to play and all should get a fair crack at getting arrested, too. “Two or three might . . .” said Anderson about something (possibly related?) in a newspaper article I skimmed.

The Tigers are hoping to find their first treasure tonight up at Hearnes Arena as they play a prohibition against Williams Jewells.

Missou is picked to finish seventh, and do feature a player with a funny name: Shamburger.

Hope to see you all season out at the Hearnes—M-I-C!

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