A Christmas Update from Kay Smith, disgruntled housewife that is chock-full of holiday spirit . . .
Traditions are fun, aren’t they? I remember growing up, we had all sorts of fun traditions, like the tradition where my Aunt baked us a bunch of cookies but left the oven on and burned down our house! Or like last night, when our Elf on a Shelf decided to hide outside on the porch (with an assist from that creative husband of mine!!!)! It was a classic elf move, hiding outside when it was so North Pole-like! What wasn’t so classic was the little simpleton of an elf leaving the door unlocked!!!!! This morning, our elf was still here but our television wasn’t! Ho-ho-ho is right! Now our little elf is hiding in the dumpster and I’m dashing through the snow to Best Buy to argue for my warranty because Jed says he, “Doesn’t like all that legal mumbo-jumbo.”
Yep, that holiday spirit is all around, all right!!!!! (At least it is for the proud new owner of a Sanyo 40” flat screen!!!!) But this time of year is all about giving, after all!!!!
Speaking of giving, here at the Smith home, we’ve checked our list and made it twice, yet somehow, in all the hubbub, we haven’t bought a single gift!!! It seems like no one else can find the time to make it to the store or join me when I go!!! Maybe by the time we (or more likely “I”) do actually begin to get something done, Jed will have won the Powerball he keeps harping and using our money on and it can magically supply some of the funds we’ll need!!! If I somehow manage to pull this shopping list off without a handgun and some panty hose over my head it’d be a Christmas miracle indeed!!!
But it isn’t about material things, though, right? It is about our Savior’s birth.
And to better celebrate that, Jed’s mother decided that a big family picture is in order. Oh, now this is exciting. Everyone from Jed’s Smith side of the family (including his brother who just got out of jail and has NOT ONE(!) but two families(!!!!) and the Arkansas cousins. Yes, that part of Arkansas!!!!) are meeting at Wal-Mart this evening to spend the Friday night getting a memory that is supposed to last a lifetime (or at least longer than a TV in our neighborhood!!!!). I’ve heard from one Aunt it is a manger-theme picture shoot; Jed’s sister said it is supposed to be dressy; and my dear husband said, last he heard, it was a tacky Christmas sweater theme. So this should be fun! Just getting the whole brood together!!! Happy Holidays, right!!!
After the photo shoot—which, let’s be honest, will probably take longer than it takes Santa to grow out his beard!—our clan will head home to relax. Since the TV is gone, Jed wants to do something “special” all together as a family. I thought he meant roasting marshmallows over the open fire or singing carols or playing a board game, but nope, not my husband, “Come on, Kay!” he exclaimed when I even suggested such things!! No sir, that Jed, the family man, he checked out a projector from a Rent-A-Center and rented a bunch of Bruce Willis movies. I reminded him that Jed Jr. and Tammy are only 8 and 6, and he said, “It’s the holidays and its B-Dub: BRUCE WILLIS!” Should be festive evening at the Smith home!!!!
And then, after all that, I’ll tidy up the house before heading to bed. But don’t worry, you Ben Franklin’s out there, I won’t be sleeping the morning away. No sir! Because I will be up on the bright heading into Macy’s, where I took a second job on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings through Saturday afternoon (just an extra little 20-hour a week gig to add to my 40-hour regular job) folding sweaters and doing gift-wrapping so that my family can afford to have some sort of Christmas memories and because my husband had a hard time maintaining a suitable working relationship with his boss and rather than find another job decided to pursue his dream of being a professional drummer full-time for the last seven months!!!!!! Is it hot in here? Must be the Chestnuts roasting or something!!!!!!!!!!!
So all in all, we are blessed as ever here at the Smith home!!! Gosh, we just love the Holidays, don’t you?
Hope you are finding some genuine holiday cheer . . . Merry Christmas!