Stephanie works somewhere in modern America. Today she brought in donuts to her new workmates. At day’s end, she found this anonymous note on her desk, held down by the soggy weight of a glazed donut.
First let me say thank you for the donuts (or is it doughnuts? . . . I never know. LOL!). Also, welcome to the firm. I hope you really like it here.
With that said, though, I did want to talk just real quick about the donuts. And believe me, it was sooooo nice of you to bring them in. I mean, we were all just super impressed you did that. But the thing is, all the donuts were glazed. Some of us—I think probably like most normal people—aren’t all that into glazed donuts. They are the most boring ones. Personally, I really would have loved a maple one. In fact, when I saw you walk in with that box, I got really, really excited. It was like Pavlov’s dogs or something! But then I saw what you had done, and I sort of felt a little sick getting all excited and then having the rug sort of pulled out from under me. And it isn’t just me; a lot of us were saying that all morning. In some ways, it might have been better not to bring anything in at all then to bring a sort of crappy box of donuts that no one likes in. Also, glazed are so ordinary, so it kind of made us feel like you think we are just sort of ordinary, you know?
Anyway, don’t sweat it or anything, just wanted to let you know rather than have this happen again down the road and you become that person that everyone sort of, you know, secretly hates and makes fun of!! Someone like Barb whose spot you took. She was the absolute worst (and honestly I don’t think she ever brought in JUST glazed! LOL! JK!) I hope you have a great day, do better next time, and just know we are all super, super excited about having you here.
You New Office Friends!