By Walt Walton
My heart is heavy and I don’t know exactly how to deal with this grief
I can’t even find the words to encourage my wife, when I speak
Heard the words no heartbeat and I’m in disbelief, asking the Lord why did this have to happen to me?
Alternatively hope nobody else has to deal with this pain
I’m spiritually, physically, and emotionally strained
I’m so inconsistent, my is soul conflicted
Fighting off all these emotions, skipping all my early morning devotions
I get around friends they assume that I’m happy, I just try to pretend
Haven’t read my bible in a while even though I know, it’s what the spirit recommends
Tried praying to God but felt like a fraud, because by this time I’m drowning in sin
I’ll always remember the year of 2019 in September, we lost a set of twins
Then in February another baby added to the obituary, we lost another kid again
Trying to James 1:2-4, but my flesh is telling me the opposite of that
The Lord gives and takes away, but with these losses I don’t know how to adapt
My flesh is telling me to xyz, you fill in the gap
The devil will show you the cheese but won’t show you the trap
God’s word allowed me to become more aware & my mind finally started to unwrap
The spirit tells me be still and know that God has you exactly where He wants you at
All grief is good grief, if you know where to find your relief
Cant stop feeling these unending pains
Just hoping my current events would somehow eventually change
One year and nine months later, I’m praising the Creator Thanking Him for this blessing He did major
Looking back at the trials, I wouldn’t change them, because they made this blessing so much more
Then ever before, new life new journey that we get to explore
His eyes open and he starts breathing, tears of joy we both start weeping
So delightful to know God created his innermost being, he’s fearfully and wonderfully made
It’s a sight worth seeing, rainbow baby has or faith exceeding
So Thankful for his arrival and the air he’s breathing