By Rhonda Maydwell
Rhonda Maydwell works at Veterans United and is part of the Home Buying Concierge team. She currently lives in Columbia, MO. Rhonda studied English and Religious Studies at Mizzou and is using her talents as a staff writer for GotQuestions.org. She’s also a wife, mother, and friend to many.
When everything settles down…
And it always seems like it is just around the corner, right? We see the light at the end of the tunnel, and once we emerge we will…
Start working out,
Read through the TBR pile
Take that vacation,
Write that book…
At least, that’s my list. Yours might look different. I am going to do SO MANY THINGS once life slows a bit! When everything settles down. And, if you are like me, we really believe that time is coming. This time of happening after happening, stuff upon stuff, well, it’s just a season…right? No one can keep up this pace for an extended period, so logically, it must taper off to some form of calm and tranquility at some point. We must fight through our bad days to earn the best days of our lives…I think. I am not sure. Maybe not.
Those who know me know my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer last October. He’s been through surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, more surgery and is awaiting more surgery. His most recent surgery prompted the good news that all the treatments he has undergone led to the successful removal of all cancer and diseased colon. It was the best news we could have hoped for!
And, to be honest, the journey has been difficult and frightening, but it hasn’t been without its blessings. Our marriage has grown even closer than before. Our family, friends, and coworkers have rallied around us. My faith has matured—I learned the language of lament that has taught me to turn my questions and complaints into trust and praise.
We have everything to be thankful for, and we see that light at the end of the tunnel. One more big surgery and then we enter “survivorship” stage of treatment! Life was definitely headed towards that big “Settling Down…” And then two weeks ago, my dad died.
I am a devastated daddy’s girl. I’m also confused. How did this happen? THE LIGHT WAS VISIBLE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!
What if the light is an illusion?
What if the tunnel is an illusion?
What if things are never going to settle down?
What about my list?
What about yours?
In an infinite universe where time has no beginning and no ending, why am I seeking for beginnings and endings, illuminated tunnels, and life in a linear trajectory? The truth is that while we live in a Genesis Three world in which sin has brought death, pain, and toil we are more rightly to expect “things” will never settle down. We might get some moments of respite—and we should treasure them. And use them.
Here’s what I am coming to understand. I live in a messy, broken world as a messy, broken person interacting with other messy, broken people who also live in a messy, broken world. Not exactly a recipe for “when everything settles down.”
More like a recipe for treating each moment God gives us and each person He places in our lives as gifts with which to treat with great care. A recipe for complete and utter dependance upon God. A recipe for deepening faith, trust in and service to Him. A recipe for drawing so near to the Father that we know what He has purposed us to do and that He’s given us the time to do it.
We can’t keep… I can’t keep waiting for things to settle down to get serious about the things God has created me to do. It’s just not going to happen. There is some new difficulty around every corner and if
we I continue to wait for the right time (by my standards) to do them, then God is going to have to tap someone else to serve Him while I keep staring down an imaginary tunnel.
So here is
our my call to arms. Quit waiting. It’s not going to settle down. My version of the right time is never going to happen this side of heaven. Today is the day for me to forgive the person who hurt me, to praise the God who saw fit to bring my Dad Home, to take the walk, play with the grandkids, plan the trip, to listen for His leading, and to follow Him wherever that leads me. Maybe your list is different than mine. In fact, I am sure it is in many ways. But, is it time? Time for you? Time for me? Time for us?